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junior coder's experiment

by allie

supported by
Jallowrising
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Jallowrising found them from the audiotree live session & i'm in love <333333 Favorite track: pocket.
buttazz
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buttazz This made me feel feelings, nice Elliott Smith vibes Favorite track: junior coder's experiment.
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1.
let me 03:28
i am trying to get better at telling the truth first order of business i'm getting sick of you i usually bury this shit way down 'cause i don't wanna hurt anyone anymore i've got to be more honest with myself so we'll become closer than before it's my party please don't come to my party it's my party i might invite you if you let me jeannie says i'd like to regret this evening again so put your hands around my neck and feel me again now november is dead and all of the tiny branches tear me open with the sky burning red i walk in the snow and try to forget what you said it's my party i might start over if you let me
2.
coral 02:31
now i'm scared of you afraid of what you'll do just 'cause you don't know me better the puzzle pieces in my chest are begging me to get some rest just 'cause you won't treat me better what was the whole point of this? can't afford a therapist but i don't have to read your letters no i don't have to read your letters and i hope someday you'll get better i hope someday you will
3.
the park 03:10
4.
pocket 03:21
5.
i think that i hate myself much more than you realize confusing self obsession with love all the time i hope there's a secret lesson in every experience even if it's all one junior coder's experiment so i sit and i yearn and i try to keep my mouth closed as i think about why i try to control every outcome of the choices debatably mine of the choices debatably mine i've got a habit of keeping you waiting upstairs either my time is too precious or no one really cares swinging back and forth from the poles of illusion and common sense can you show me the difference between healthy debate and an argument? so i sit and i yearn and i try to keep my mouth closed as i think about why i try to control every outcome in an age that's debatably mine in an age that's debatably mine my shoes are made of plastic and pain as i head to your door i slither to your autumin hoping you forgot what i said before but we both know you have a photographic memory so i hold you in the light in hopes that it exposes everything so i sit and i yearn and i try to keep my mouth closed as i think about why i try to control every outcome in this life that's debatably mine (x4)

about

written / recorded between mid november 2019 and feb 2020

credits

released March 6, 2020

keys on "the park": katy carmichael
bass ideas on "pocket" and outro key lead on "junior coder's experiment": jacob cuva

all other performances: allan cuva

production & mix: allan cuva
mix assistance & master: jacob cuva

enormous thanks to both katy and jacob for overall encouragement. additional thanks to my family in the pressure kids and austin thomas.

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allie New York, New York

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